


How Santa Claus stole Christmas, also Phooey and Kablooie

by KingFranPetty



Series: Here's how Phooey Duck can still win Endgame. [36]
Category: DuckTales (Cartoon 2017)
Genre: Action, Action/Adventure, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Attempted Murder, Christmas, Christmas Cookies, Christmas Decorations, Christmas Fluff, Christmas Presents, Christmas Special, Death Threats, Della Duck Tries, Donald Duck Needs a Hug, Emotionally Repressed Scrooge McDuck, Episode Related, Episode Tag, Gen, Grumpy Scrooge McDuck, Insults, Older Sibling Huey Duck, Parent Della Duck, Parent Donald Duck, Parent Scrooge McDuck, Scrooge McDuck Has Feelings, Threats, Threats of Violence, Uncle Scrooge McDuck
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-01
Updated: 2020-12-01
Packaged: 2021-03-10 04:01:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,395
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27807988
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KingFranPetty/pseuds/KingFranPetty
Summary: It's mostly Kablooie because Phooey goes on an adventure we don't see.
Series: Here's how Phooey Duck can still win Endgame. [36]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1647268
Comments: 2
Kudos: 2





	How Santa Claus stole Christmas, also Phooey and Kablooie

It was a cold December day. Donald Duck was going over to the boys to give them cookies. Yet he got caught in the lights. Phooey Duck went to him while everyone was listening to Della Duck's story telling. Ah but Phooey, Phooey was soon tangled in a string. Della was still telling about Santa being a heel. Kablooie Duck noted, "So as much I enjoy killing people, I prefer a reason. Also I hate Scrooge." Huey Duck insisted on listening to the original story. Dewey Duck was disturbed by this and wished for the same. His mom refused because Santa isn't allowed here because of history. Louie Duck yelled that they don't know that history.

Della didn't answer on base of them being better off not knowing. Louie questioned if she even knew that history. Just before Kablooie and his own mom were about to fight over if Scrooge deserves to die. Something was walking on the roof. Huey, Dewey, and Louie Duck grew excited at the possibility of Santa Claus. Kablooie grew curious. Della Duck took Donald Duck and accidentally Phooey Duck along with her into battle. The remaining boys gave each other a look then got on top the roof, to search for Santa. Other than Kablooie Duck who was here to set the mansion on fire and maybe see Santa and Scrooge fight.

A light shined upon them, they looked to it. A figure. The triplets smiled as they took it to be Santa Claus. Kablooie Duck on the other hand was readying his speech to Scrooge McDuck about their last fight and was also readying to pour gasoline on the roof then burn the whole place down. It turned out to be Scrooge McDuck. McDuck was dressed head to toe in plaids, skirt, barret, and other Scots stuff. The Richest Duck in the world seemed cold and distant and thinking like a supervillain as he spoke. He spoke about Santa never stepping on his roof.

The Blue Duckling asked why he hates someone so jolly and cheerful and good. The answers were of no concern to The Orange Duckling as he took out a match and talked. It began with a threat and a insult, demanding that Scrooge McDuck die to give the world what it really needs this Christmas. A final gift that wouldn't so contrary the point of Christmas. However that got talked over by Webbigal Vanderquack who threatened that an enemy of Scrooge is an enemy of ours. McDuck and Kablooie both looked to her and gestured that they were in the middle of another attempted murder. 

Kablooie went to continue, opening the gasoline to pour it. That's about when Webby went to fight him. Now normally this would be a fair fight but it was cold and snowing and there was ice. So she immediately won as he got too sick to fight on touching the snow. The Rich Duck took them apart and boosted that he's the richest duck in the world so they don't need a Santa Claus. Between coughing and sneezing, The Orange Duck snarled flames as he explained that he doesn't care about useless cheap junk from a capitalist that would be better off dead.

The hats were like Phooey's and everyone got one in their own color. Louie and Kablooie complained about the hats but in very different ways. Louie didn't like how itchy it was. Kablooie requested that Scrooge give the unpaid workers bleeding and staving to death to make these, an apology and a pound of the old duck's flesh instead. The old duck scoffed and ordered a thanks for the lacking present. Then he displayed his age by listing off other presents that children might actually want. Huey, Dewey, and Louie agreed that they wanted those things. Kablooie claimed he was dying from the cold so he wanted to kill Scrooge before his own death.

However there was someone at the door. It was Santa Claus and he seemed happy to see Scrooge McDuck. Scrooge McDuck wasn't happy in return.

Meanwhile, Kablooie was inside the fire place and healing from his cold.

Santa Claus awoke to find himself surrounded by ducklings asking him questions excitedly. The polar bear was delighted to see them, giving them all gifts. Other than Kablooie who wasn't allowed any presents due to attempted murder and arson. Webbigal refused her gift. The ones that took their gifts cheered for the stuff they got. Thankfully Kablooie was still sick so he couldn't make everyone feel bad about this. However he would be correct if he did. Unluckily, Scrooge took that job and was wrong. His jealousy flared as he saw this as a personal attack.

Saint Nick requested this fight not be in front of the children. Still the children had seen. The triplets were confused as to why this fight was happening. Webbigal backed up Scrooge. That's when Kablooie bust out of the fireplace and wrestled Webby, reasoning aloud that she said Kablooie was an enemy. Note earlier her claim that anyone against Scrooge McDuck is against "ours." While they rolled around on the floor near the fire, Scrooge finally gave an answer. Santa Claus had stolen... Christmas.. Somehow it was McDuck's idea first. Yeahhhhhh, Sure Jan.

Kablooie got up, took a length of string lights got on a tall chair, made the lights into a noose, and attempted to strangle his Uncle to death violently. Vanderquack suddenly jumped him and was fighting him over the wire to prevent his Christmas wish from coming true. While they were wrestling in a big, comfortable, chair by the fireplace, the plot continued. Father Christmas pleaded that McDuck must save Christmas. The silence answered no. Nick understood so he pained to beg more. The red, blue, and green whined to please save Christmas. So reluctantly, The Richest Duck agreed on the base that they never see each other again.

As Scrooge McDuck grumbled off, Santa told the story about how Scrooge and Santa. At the time, McDuck wasn't rich but he was still a jerk. He was trying to sell coal as his view of Christmas before Christmas was a thing, somehow. Yeahhhhhh, Sure Jan. This version sucks tho. Santa Claus was dragging his shed and singing, on his way to give out toys. They decided to work together. This was more effective but Scrooge was clearly unnecessary for it to succeed. Who knew, Santa is very charming and socially likeable guy!

They were in a cabin of elves. Scrooge wanted to make money. Santa wanted to give to all who wanted or needed. You can probably see why this relationship didn't work out. Still despite Saint Nicholas promising the world everything, he was still whimsical enough to keep McDuck around. They declared themselves partners and were totally not dating. This where Santa paused the story to go save Christmas. The children were in disbelief yet they agreed to help save Christmas. Of course, Kablooie Duck decided to wear a leather looking black jacket and fingerless biker gloves to keep warmer than a tank top allows.

Also to hide the items he'd probably use to commit arson.

The kids got on top of the reindeer. While his brothers were all enjoying this Christmas season adventure, Kablooie saw Rudolph and pondered where Phooey was. Phooey Duck was, of course, with Donald and Della Duck. Misfortune, they were in an alternate universe where Scrooge still didn't know Bradford was the leader of F.O.W.L so he invited over The Vultures to a Christmas party. So they were at a Christmas party, trying to avoid F.O.W.L, all the while Phooey is having a very traumatic memory repeat. This suffering somehow resolves the gap Don and Del have about Phooey's trauma regarding Christmas.

Moving on from that nightmare into another.

Scrooge insisted that the boys stay out of this one and that he only trusted Webz on this. Webby displayed something military which immediately set off Kablooie who jumped on top of her to fight. They were wrestling in the back of the shed. Santa Claus reluctantly agreed to not involve the triplets and charmed them into going inside. Kablooie Duck and Webbigal Vanderquack were still wrestling in the background.

They went around gifting gifts to everyone in Duckburg. Other than Kablooie who spent the entire trip trying to get people to agree to help him kill Scrooge. They were all asleep so it didn't work. As the adventure continued on, Webbigal was charmed by Santa and grew a little bit to like him. They traveled all over, delivering gifts to all. Yet time was running out. Also Kablooie had yet to find Negaduck, someone to help kill his Uncle, or a place to commit arson without getting caught. Flashing back to when Scrooge and Santa totally weren't sleeping in the same bed.

The magical star rock that could slow down time for one night a year was in a ice cave. Scrooge was the adventurer. They had found and tamed some flying reindeer. The flash back was cut off by Webby. The group had gotten to the next house. Lena and Violet slept. Webby handed over their presents and kissed them both on the cheek. Next was Della and Donald who had returned from their own adventure with Phooey, said adventure being a nightmare. Kablooie woke his brother, handed over to present, and requested he come with. Phooey Duck agreed but was pained due to his Christmas wish being to not see The Buzzard Brothers.

The Beagle Boys woke up to steal the rest of the presents as only one of them had been good that year. Then Santa came crashing down in a blazing shed. Allowing the rest of the group to avoid fighting. The group went laughing off into the night. Kablooie shouted behind that they (himself, whoever helps, and the Beagle Boys) should team up later to kill Scrooge McDuck. Returning to the flashback, the two men had entered the ice cave. And totally never thought about cuddling together at all. They had seen the magic star. Ah what an inconvenience, a giant monster snowman blocked the way.

The red jolly man attempted to kill it with kindness. Yet the box did nothing. Scrooge dashed out to fight this icey beast using flying reindeer and fire. Somehow the fire wasn't firey enough to stop the snowman. This tragic turn lead to the flight of the squidjackuda, that's why a... Wait wrong story. Santa reached over and touched the star, stopping time. No. Slowing it down.

Returning to now, Scrooge and Santa were laughing away at the story. I assume there's no Ms. Claus in this universe. Then again, it's been a while sooo. Anyways Scrooge was giving the last gift. So Claus decided to tell the end to their tale.

How they broke up... I mean, ended their business.

Scrooge McDuck wanted Christmas to be Captalist. Santa Claus wanted to give to those who need. They couldn't agree as their ideas were too different. Also because Scrooge's Christmas sucks. That version of Christmas you might know well. Because it's the one you are living in. Enjoy Black Friday.

Oh yeah, plot twist, Scrooge was giving everyone coal and making them pay for it. Like I said. Capitalism ruins Christmas and everything. Kablooie Duck got into the house and search for his betraying Uncle Scrooge McDuck. Basically his plan boiled down to bury Scrooge in coal, set coal on fire. Something else. Profit. Scrooge was readying to give the last person his gift. That's when he realized the house he was in, was cold and broken down. Behind him in the dying embers of the fire, was the murder duckling. His shape teeth shined dull as he smiled into the words, "You know this is all your fault."

McDuck turned to him, offended. "My fault?! How in the blaring blaze is this my fault?" He scoffed. The Ember hissed, "You own EVERYTHING. You could have ended children dying in cold houses with food. You could have stopped the warming apocalypse that's coming to take her future. You could have ended this, ALL OF THIS... Her blood and the blood of everyone is on your hands now." The old duck glared in rage. He backed up. The adult whisper shouted back, "This is the way of the world. If they would just work harder like I did then!" His words were cut off.

The fire poker yanked his foot causing him to fall over. He went to get up but a webbed foot with claws slammed him down. The Firework huffed, "This world could have been better but you destroy everything you touch in your greedy." A bag of coal was brought over and Kablooie readied to dump it on him. The Firecracker breathed out, "For this. I find your hoarding of wealth indefensible and I will personally kill you for the betterment of the world." That's about when Jennifer woke up. Kablooie disappeared. She immediately beat up Scrooge McDuck in the belief that he was a home invader.

She stopped, confusing him with Santa Claus. Scrooge gave her coal to warm her fireplace. In the background Kablooie set the fire without the need for coal. Nobody noticed this. So Scrooge required her to burn the only thing she has ever had. Jennifer refused this request. McDuck couldn't understand her reasoning. He was in a similar position once, in a cold and breaking down building. Yet he decided to not make her destroy the one thing she owned. Kablooie saw the opening and took it.

He whispered to her. Jennifer was at first confused, then anger, then agreeing. They smiled to each other at their future plans. Then Kablooie Duck disappeared. Just as Santa and Webby entered to chew McDuck out. Jennifer got two gifts. Scrooge, Webbigal, and Nick were all fighting. Turns out Santa lied to make his ex come back. Scrooge had betrayed his ex boyfriend. Now it's time to sad.

Oh wait, we can save Christmas. The entire Duck-McDuck family each took up arm and delivered presents. Other than Kablooie who was too busy trying to kill Bradford Buzzard and his brothers. This failed. Scrooge and Santa had a sweet moment. The years long fight ended. Christmas was saved.

The End.


End file.
